Thursday, 14 July 2011

rejection, upon rejection, upon break-up ...

i got two rejection letters today.
one of the jobs i really had my heart set-on, even though i knew it was a long-shot. i suppose i was always gearing myself up for a fall, but it still hurt.
the other was just a generic job i`ve applied loads for, but it felt worse seeing it in writing: what`s worse; just not hearing anything back, or a rejection letter ...?
hmm ...
anyway, i`ve felt pretty crappy all day. kinda just wanted to hide under the duvet all day (despite it being lovely + sunny outside) and pretend my life is not happening. i wanted to just call Him and hope that he`d come round straight after work and give me such a tight squeeze ... but it`s not like that anymore, is it? and it never will be. ever again. everything`s ruined. and facing all sorts of future-rejection is going to be so crap without his support.
fuck, i just miss him.

on a positive note, i`m getting ready to go see Harry Potter at midnight - first showing in Liverpool at FACT. so, as much as i`d like to say i`m looking forward to it ... i`m not. because it`s the final one. the end of the story. the end of an era. i`m going to be a big fat mess come 3am!!!
oh, fucking hell.

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